Bloomberg CEO Appointment At Risk

The confirmation of Marvin Thistlebottom as Bloomberg, LP’s new CEO appears in danger, after the corporation’s board expressed near-universal opposition to the pick.

“Thistlebottom is obviously an expert English teacher, but will that expertise translate into running an international corporation?” asked one board member, who wished to remain anonymous.

A Bloomberg spokesperson dismissed the concerns, saying that Thistlebottom’s ability to handle a classroom full of sophomore English students would translate easily into the boardroom.

“We need his experience in solving tough problems and confronting daily crises,” the spokesperson said. “Plus, Bloomberg needs more talent like him. No one else here has actually read Silas Marner.”

Some board members indicated that they might approve Thistlebottom if the company agreed to appoint a Chief Corporate Officer to handle the company management portions of the job.

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