What Red States?

I think the red-state blue-state view of the country is overly simplistic, but nonetheless this map from the Daily Kos is amusing.

And this had me laughing out loud:

WASHINGTON… The National Turkey, pardoned by President Bush in the traditional White House pre-Thanksgiving ceremony, will be held captive at the US military installation in Guantanamo. The turkey, said to weigh in the teens of pounds, will be interned at the request of Vice President Dick Cheney, who is concerned that it may have been raised on a farm in Prague.

A source close to the Vice President, speaking on condition of sycophantic proximity to power which journalists mistake for actual reporting, stated “it’s been pretty well verified” the turkey may have had access to various biological and chemical substances, including what has been termed by a Pentagon informant as “a potential basting agent”.

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7 Responses to What Red States?

  1. shunn says:

    Ah, yes, my dear home state, and our nutty neighbor to the north! Having lived in both places … well, surprise is not high on my list of reactions. In fact, my (liberal Marxist) Mormon brother at Stanford was just reporting an exchange with one of our otherwise rational Utah sisters whose belief in Dumbya’s inspired leadership is religious.

    Funny how, when I was growing up and now, the president is always inspired by God — unless he’s a Democrat.

    • ken says:

      the president is always inspired by God — unless he’s a Democrat.

      Which is funny, considering that the most genuinely religious recent President was probably Jimmy Carter.

    • ken says:

      Oh, and did you catch this Overheard In NY last week?

      Promoter guy: Do you girls like comedy?
      Girl #1: No.
      Promoter guy: You telling me you girls don’t like to
      laugh?
      Girl #2: Laughing is against our religion.
      Promoter guy: And what religion would that be?
      Girl #1: Mormon.

      • shunn says:

        Oh, God. What they’re teaching the kids these days in church!

        Yes, Mormon scripture warns against “loud laughter” (in the same passage as the proscription against “speaking evil of the Lord’s anointed”), but Joseph Smith was probably the loudest laugher in church history.

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